I grew up with a turtle as a pet – a Box turtle named Lassie. He’s a boy (my sister named him). Lassie currently lives in my mom’s garden in the summers and in a big box with wood chips and a jade plant in the upstairs hallway in the winter. He likes to eat raw hamburger, dog food, and the occasional over ripe banana and looks like a tyrannosaurus rex when he chows down. When I was little, my mom would paint his shell for whatever holiday we were currently celebrating- a pumpkin for halloween, a tree for christmas – and he was my show and tell in kindergarten. If you stick him in the bathtub with about an inch of warm water, he will shit all over the place and it is gross. Lassie is currently a fixture in my mother’s will (or so I’ve been told), because we’re pretty sure he is going to outlive us all.
But in all the years I’ve known him, I have never once seen him do anything like this:
Turtles can make noise? And they hump things? I thought reptiles laid eggs?
My mind. It is blown. And maybe a little scarred.